


house fires

by cliffordxcolors



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, Sad Luke, mentions of drugs and things like that, short one shot thing, there's not much to tag, this is what happens when my internet is down
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 13:02:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4480142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cliffordxcolors/pseuds/cliffordxcolors
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you were a fire hazard and you burnt everything you touched. your fingertips have left scars and i can't bear never feeling them again.</p><p> </p><p>(or, luke knew that being with michael would be short lived)</p>
            </blockquote>





	house fires

i stood there, watching you descend into the ground. i just stood there. my hands were numb for a while after that. everything was pretty numb. maybe it was the cold.

-

the numbness spread to my arms later that evening. i couldn't manage to pick up the phone. it kept ringing and ringing and ringing and i know it's stupid, but everything sounds a little different without you here.

-

soon my legs were numb and i couldn't leave the couch. im starting to question if the weather outside made me numb, or if it was the frozen air of the apartment you once made me feel so warm in.

-

my body is numb and tingling. im starting to wonder if this is what you felt like. truthfully, i don't understand what you got out of feeling like this. i guess it's better than feeling what i've been feeling these past couple days.

-

i kind of want to blame myself. i didn't stop you. i could see how whatever substance you put in your body would allow you to forget. you didn't deserve anything you went through. 

-

we were both pretty fucked up. everyone deals with shit differently. you didn't understand why i wrote so much. i didn't understand the drugs. we let each other be. 

-

sometimes i felt like we were a toxic combination. lying with you was the equivalent to standing in a highway. kissing you was like lying on train tracks. 

-

you'd never believe me, but i miss you. it's all felt kind of surreal lately. i haven't gone into the bedroom yet. im not sure if i will. my mom offered for me to come and live with her again. i don't think i will. i need to stay here, with every last ghost of you. it's not healthy. im sorry.

-

the funeral didn't make anything better. it gave me closure that i didn't want. i greeted so many fake people, you wouldn't believe it. i wanted to scream, to replace your body with mine. no one knew you like i did, and every time i saw a tear slip down someone's cheek i couldn't help but think _you wouldn't have wanted this._

-

i bet you're probably confused why i haven't cried since you left. i am too. it felt wrong to not cry. i should have sobbed, screamed, slept away the days, but i couldn't. i went numb. it's been happening a lot since then. i guess numb is good. numb is not feeling. numb is safe.

-

i guess i should've seen this coming. i should've stopped you. i could've saved you. you could still be mine. i could still be yours. and i wouldn't want to burn down our apartment whenever i passed the bedroom door. i know that you would've said this was inevitable. i wish i wouldn't have believed you.

-

you'd laugh at me if i said this to you, but i miss your arms. i miss your burning touches and those times where your veins were empty of everything but blood. when you were alive in the way only i knew. so alive. 

-

you were a fire hazard and you burnt everything you touched. your fingertips have left scars and i can't bear never feeling them again.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah im not really sure what this is and if i like it but i haven't posted anything in a while so why not. also i realized this could literally be about anyone because it never mentions any names but i guess muke was lucky enough to be in whatever this was.


End file.
